"Her "Bye, now" had contained a glimmer of hope amongst all of herdesperation. I really did want to help, but feared involvement andparticipation, and...the unending cycle of wine and Prozac outside myconfined and controlled world.I opened the door to my garage dressed in a cotton bra and overalls;cleaning one of my bikes was the order of the day."Is this Barton's Motorcycle repair?" The gleaming metal on my bikeoffered a reflection of the young woman I saw at HNIS standing in thedoorway."Yes it. Denise may have been particularly suggestible, but I wanted to know if this was an isolated occurrence. I became fascinated by the power of suggestion; and the greater power provided by the lab coat, clipboard, and clinical attitude. Each day I found myself pushing the limits further. I tried suggestions on various physical effects, emotional, sensory; nearly all were a success.By week eight, I was no longer the person I used to be. I found that a couple of my placebo subjects had gained in cup. But i resumed, writing fictional tales until i had come upon perhaps my best. In this, my female identity came out again, and my heart hadhappiness. i began to love my female identity again. i had cried notknowing exactly why, but in crying i had discovered that expression was no loner alien to me. It had felt wonderful. Soon after, i foundmy mannerisms changing, and every time i realized i was doing one,i felt a great sense of peace with myself.But one day after coming home from my job i had. Your friends are right. It is just going to take some time." So, not only have you been checking me out, but you have sized up our mother, too?" Kim accused with a sly grin, her mood beginning to change at his detailed compliment."I size up every female - even the ugly ones." Kris said with a laugh. "I may not be smooth at asking girls out, but I am a pro at sizing them up." Kris, let's fantasize a little about what our first time would be like. Why don't you pull up some porn on the internet.
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