So it can't be there, there's got to be a shortcut somewhere else that I've never noticed before. Everybody but Hazel and I file off back into college... with Mr Wilson eager to announce Hazel's amazing new record time on his noticeboard. The poor, sad man doesn't suspect for one minute that her so called achievement is all an illusion."I must phone the County, enter you in the regionals Hazel," he says before he goes."Oh God," whispers Hazel."Well?" I ask her, when everyone has gone."Well what?". --Margaret Cho"My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects".--Les Dawson"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship".--Sharon Stone"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time".--Robin Williams"I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No'".--Woody Allen"Erotica is using a feather; pornography is using the whole. Her knee was up by her chin and it was clear that she was not wearing any underwear. "Aren't you putting any knickers on?" I asked."Why, do you think I should? I thought you liked it when I went without. Would you rather I put some on?" No Kelly, of course not."I suppose it was an idiotic thing to have asked. Why should she wear any? It has always been a turn on for me to know she was naked under her dress and I could not imagine Carl complaining. There was a knock on the door and the man. She seemed to be a little disappointed that myhymen was already broken. That did not stop herfrom sticking two long fingers into my barrel. Shefelt my cervix just like our gynecologist did whenshe gave me physicals. As she withdrew her fingersshe pressed against my urethra with a finger tipuntil I actually squirted a little pee into her hand. Itembarrassed me. I could not believe it when Mumactually licked her hand and smelled her fingers. Mum told me, "If you want to use something.
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